Twenty Two Things

Twenty-Two Things

In honor of my birthday, I have created a list of twenty two things I am thankful for (and in no particular order).

1. Right before I hang up the phone with my Ma, she always declares ‘I love you’ in the most sincere voice possible. It chokes me up every time.
2. For my father humoring me every time I picked up a new hobby.
3. For my parents teaching me that my voice is the most powerful instrument I will ever own and no one has the right to silence it.
4. For every novel I have ever read that has changed my outlook on life (or my life in general). Thank you Rowling, Salinger and Bradbury.
5. For being a Tar-Heel, and the thrill I receive each time I reread my journal entry that proclaims, “I WILL GET INTO CAROLINA!”
6. For my brother, who finds a way to always understand and support me.
7. For waking up each morning to a ‘Good Morning love’ text from my best friend.
8. For penguins and pandas. They always make me smile.
9. For Chicago and everything that comes with it (mm…pizza).
10. For mastering the art of surrounding myself with some of the greatest people on this planet.
11. For the weather at this exact moment. Cold, and cloudy — quintessentially fall.
12. For J – who has been by my side for ten years.
13. For K- who has introduced me to hockey and everything else that is good in this world.
14. For L- who has taught me to embrace every awkward moment and cherish it.
15. For SN – for loving me, no questions asked.
16. For SP – for challenging my views and telling me when I’m wrong (ha!)
17. For A- for showing me all the bits and pieces my life had (has)  been missing.
18. For the list above – they are the greatest people I have ever met. All credit goes to them.
19. For my grandma, who is the greatest and most influential person I have ever met. I strive to be half as great as you.
20. For having the ability to tell everyone I love that I love them as many times as I possibly desire.
21. For my father taking me around Europe and South America and for the moments I experienced.
22. And most importantly, for having this life and everything that is to follow. x

What Pooh taught me.

Today is one of those unseasonably cool days for North Carolina and I am in love. Whilst everyone around me is groaning quietly to themselves, I am dancing around my apartment in hand knitted socks and an oversized sweater. This weather reminds me of home.

If there is one thing you should know about me it is this: I love Chicago. I love the city, the people, the food, the culture, the atmosphere, sports (blackhawks!) and the changing of seasons. Living in North Carolina has robbed me of my favorite season: fall.

This weekend has been one of the times where I wish I could pop home and hug my ma. It sounds rather childish because I am 21 (22 in 3 days!) years old and all I want to do is hug my ma. My homesickness is not nearly as bad as it was last year, but we all experience those days, but as Pooh once said:

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

This recent feeling lead me to the topic nostalgia and I’m a nostalgic type of girl.  I personally think it’s great and I know a lot of people would disagree. I think people are so afraid of remembering or feeling that they refused to do so…but that goes both ways. Some people are too scared of the present that they refuse to recognize it, whereas some people are too scared of the past they refused to believe it ever happened. Granted, there are some things that are in need of forgetting but that just seems so rare to me.

I remember when I was sixteen and I went through this horrible breakup with my best friend. Now, being a hormonal teenage girl, this seemed like the end of the world.  I can barely recall my high school experience because it ended up being a total shit show.

In a fit of rage, I destroyed every letter, gift and photo we had every shared. It’s gone. I have nothing to show for our friendship from 6^th grade to 10^th grade. What a regret (and I hate the saying “no regrets” …that’s just moronic).  We didn’t repair our friendship until our freshman year in college, a whole 3 years later. Besides the lack of back story, you should just know that many people considered us twins and one referred to just one of us it was always, “J and K”, or “K and J”.

Now, whenever we get together, we always take a trip down memory lane. It’s one of my favorite thing to do because I love recalling all the silly things we did and what how it felt when we did them.

Before I left for school we sat on her couch in her brand new apartment and I was amazed at how far we’ve come and how content I was. I have known this girl for eleven years and it feels so good to remember. So fulfilling. But I also know those moments have faded and they are nothing more than past memories. What matters is this moment right now (I really do love my clichés).

In my journey of self-acceptance of my personality, gender, and all the nitty gritty that comes with growing up. Oh, growing up….why are you so daunting?

Man, if there’s anything I have to figure out it’s this: I have to bury Chicago deep into the depths of my heart. The Alchemist has inspired to continue to find my personal legend and I know I’ll probably end up in Europe. Thank god I love being alone – I suppose it comes with the territory of being a writer. What else do I need besides my thoughts, my journal, and a backpack?

A pen.

X

First

Okay, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for my first (sort of) post. I’m sitting in my living room in my wonderfully awful Canada sweatshirt attempting to write a paper I really know nothing on. Moments before I just had the weirdest, strangest, unbelievable dance party in my kitchen with my roommates. Moments before that my crazy neighbor was sitting on my couch and scream “Oh, sweet Jesus!” and left.

Listen, I love this life. I am so lucky and I’m not sure where this leaves me but I am going to enjoy it. Continue on my journey to find my personal legend.